


From The Memories

by Seijuku_Ceremony



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 18:04:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3946429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seijuku_Ceremony/pseuds/Seijuku_Ceremony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A huge disturbance in Soul's childhood makes him view life differently. He is solitude and doesn't care for friends or help from anyone. Can a certain assassin help him find hope again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The 'Incident'

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very old fan fiction I typed up last year so do not expect some good quality.^^

" Soul, I'll be going out to buy some groceries so I shouldn't be gone for long. My friend is here if you need anything from him." A young boy nodded, his white hair waving at the action as his brother walks out the front door. He closes the door and looks around to his brother's friend, who gave a small smile and wave.

" Hey there little guy, I'm Toya." The little boy looked down shyly and he heard footsteps walking up. " You don't have to be shy around me. Want to play a game or something?" Soul looked up and at the t.v. before pointing at the Play Station.

Toya smiled.

" Sure. What game?"

.....................

The two played a couple games, laughing and chatting and joking around. Soul was able to express himself more seeing as Wes's friend was so open. They were currently looking for something to eat when there was vicious pounding on the front door.

" Is that Wes? He couldn't have forgotten the key." Toya said as he looked up from the drawer. Soul remembered seeing Wes holding a key so it couldn't be his brother. There was more thunderous knocking and it seemed that this person wanted to bust in. Soul nervously held the older boy's leg and Toya could sense the younger one's uneasiness. He knelt down and held his shoulders with a stern look.

" Listen, I want you to go to your room, lock the door, and don't make a sound. I'll go see what this person wants." The other boy whimpered and yanked and Toya's sleeve, indicating that he wanted him to come as well but Toya only smiled sadly and stood up.

" I'll be back I promise. Now go." The sound of wood splintering as it was being slammed on made Toya urge Soul into the room. After making sure it was locked he turned just as the sound of the door busting down.

.........................

Soul whimpered but didn't make any noise, doing as Toya had said. There were sounds of men arguing, footsteps thundering across the floor and a gunshot. Soul's closed eyes watered and leaned against the door, hoping it wouldn't be his friend that was shot. He hiccuped behind his hand, wishing for everything to be over.

Then suddenly, footsteps paused at his door and he froze. His heart sped when the handle was being twisted and the door was kicked. Soul crawled away and looked for anywhere else to hide but couldn't get his chance when his door was slammed open, revealing two older men. The boy gasped as his eyes quivered when the two men walked over to him with crazy looks in their eyes.

Soul wanted to scream and run.

He wanted to push away from those big, rough hands grabbing at him.

He wanted to shout for his brother.

He wanted the pain to end.

............................

" Soul. You don't look like you slept. As per usual." Maka added with narrowed eyes of suspiciousness. I roll my eyes at her attempt to yet again, get me to tell her what was wrong. We were in the middle of a lesson and it kind of surprised me that Ms. Perfect was ignoring the lesson. Then again, she knows pretty much everything.

" It was a bad dream."

" Care to fill me in on it?" And there it is. I huff and laid down on the table with my arms underneath my head. I don't see why she needs to know about my personal life anyways. No matter how many times I tell her it's just a nightmare, she says a guy like me probably wouldn't get shaken up about that. Especially since we practically kill kishins everyday.

" It's nothin'."

" Jeez, you're so difficult."

" You're one to talk."

" MAKA CHOP!" Everyone looked over, including Sid who was interrupted from his lecture, at Maka's steaming book and the glowing red bump on my head. Trust Maka, my very violent meister, to have me in pain every hour or so. Everyone went back to what they were doing as if nothing had happened. It's sort of a regular routine for us.

The bell rings and I was already set and ready to head out when Maka grabbed my sleeve.

" Where do you think you're going?" She asked with a raised eyebrow in amusement. I frown and yank my arm to my self.

" To lunch. Why?" She grabs me again and drags me out the door but in the opposite direction of the cafeteria.

" I volunteered us to show two group of kids round the school. It's their first day and I thought maybe we should," She casts a dead-panned glance at me in which I sweat," That way you aren't such a loner and could actually make friends."

" I like my solitude self thanks."

" You can't always be by yourself. One day, you're going to have to rely on someone else and I know it isn't going to be me." We stop in front of the hall to Lord Death's room and there are five kids standing there. Maka, unlike me, went up with a big smile and introduced herself, but pulled me along, forcing me to talk as well. Maka takes the first group, which included two girls and a boy with three white stripes in his black hair. For some strange reason, he reminded me a lot of Lord Death.

I ended up getting the second group containing a blue, spiky-haired boy in a ninja attire, along with his partner who was a tall girl in a ninja attire as well. As we split up and walk around, I showed them the bathrooms, classes, the gym and cafeteria. As we did so, I got to know more about the two. For instance, the boy's name was Black Star and he seemed to be the air-headed, non-stop talker with a wild personality and his weapon, Tsubaki, was the total opposite. We stop outside where the courtyard is and I turn to face them.

" We're having lunch right now so you can stay here until the bell rings. Your schedule's should have your class directions on it." I say and they only stare as I turn around, but I glanced back to see them still standing and smiling at me. I raise an eyebrow and took two steps but they are still standing there. I sweat before finally sighing in defeat and turning back around.

" ... I-I guess you guy's can h-have lunch with me and Maka..." They instantly brighten and I shook my head with an exasperated look. I never had asked anyone to have lunch with me and I felt a wierd. Afterwards, however, I started to actually enjoy their presence. We all got along pretty well and Black Star always had me laughing. Tsubaki and Maka were instantly best friends, along with Liz and Patty, the two sisters. Liz seemed to enjoy soaking in her beauty while Patty was almost similar as Black Star. Just more... creepy. Their meister, Death The Kid( Now I know why he reminded me of Lord Death) always had something to say about symmetry. I wonder how his partners are able to deal with his OCD.

I look at my wrist-watch and see that there is only ten minutes and I stood, saying I had to use the bathroom. I took my shoulder-bag and headed back inside the school. I never felt so... content before and I actually felt really giddy. Hell, I was still smiling big like an idiot but honestly, I felt like I had no care in the world. It's been so long since I've truly felt happy since The Incident a couple years ago.

I walk into the bathroom an walk up to a sink with a mirror above, showing my reflection. I sigh heavily as the events began to flow into my head unwillingly. It's been yars since I've seen Wes or Toya and I've been waiting for them to come back.

He promised me.

But he didn't come back, instead two men forced themselves on me and I could never veiw life the same way. God, I actually considered comminting suicide to save me the trouble of feeling pain in my chest every time I thought about my childhood. I was only ten yet... yet...

Tears started to form in my eyes and I quickly shake my head. I can't just break down like this in the middle of a school day. That was years ago so it shouldn't affect me now-

A hand touched my shoulder and I junped with a yelp, turning around fast.

" Don't!" I exclaim. It turned out to be Black Star, who's eyes widened and he raised his hands back in defense. My eyes switched from terror to slight anger at the way I reacted. I quickly wipe the tears in my eyes with my jacket sleeve, hoping he wouldn't see what a mess I've become so suddenly. " Wh-why are you here?" I muttered as smoothly as I could. He blinks as he puts his hands down.

" We were wondering why you were taking so long. I didn't mean to... scare you or anything." I exhale as my racing heart slowed down and I leaned against the sink.

" I was just thinking. I'll be out in a second." I say as a cue for him to leave, only instead, he stood there with hands on his waisted.

" What happened anyways? I didn't think you were the type to scream from a little touch."

I blink when memories of myself screaming at the men as they touched meand pale. I shook slightly and Black Star looked at me quizzically. I didn't want to remember any of that, yet it keeps coming back, almost as if a never-ending nightmare. I tremble and drop to the ground as my vision began to blur slightly. Black Star calls my name and kneels in front of me, grasping my shoulders but I flinch.

" G-get off..." I whimper but he doesn't let go. He trying to stand me up but I disn't want to. Someone's touching me, he's holding me even though I told him not to. " Please..."

" What are you talking about? Calm down would yo-"

" Let go!" I tried to get away from him but he was way stronger than I thought. Tears started to spill but I didn't care. I wanted to get away from him, from 'them'.

Black Star holds me against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around me so I couldn't get away, in which I finally gave up at. My shoulders shook as I cried tremulously in his chest because I was scared and wanted my brother, Toya, anyone... but it was out of embarrassment as well since I broke down in front of a guy I barely met. Plus, he's a loud-mouth so I shouldn't be surprised if my being crying gets around the school in a matter of hours. However, the sound of his beating heart against my ear soothed me and I was reduced to hiccups.

Once I calmed down slightly, Black Star gently pulls me away so he was looking at me, but I hid my face from his view. I blush as I felt him stare at me and I can tell that he probably thinks I'm pathetic and weak. It was an uncomfortable silence and it was unusual for Black Star to be so quiet and he must've realized that he was still holding me because he let go slowly and looked away. I sigh and shifted away, standing up while holding an arm. We both stood awkwardly before the bell rings, breaking the tension.

" The bell." I point out obviously and Black Star doesn't say anything before turning to head out. Just as he took a step, I grabbed his wrist and he turns back at me with a perplexed look, causing me to blush slightly.

" U-Um... can you... n-not tell anyone about... before?" I needed to know. He looks at me with a slight distant look before stepping up to me and I could finally see that he is definitely taller than me, and his expression was quite serious. I couldn't help but shrink slightly under the stern look he gave me and I pulled at my jacket sleeves nervously.

" *sigh* I won't," I look up with big eyes," Just don't freak me out like that again." I nod in relief and gave a small crooked smile, which he returned with a small blush while scratching the side of his cheek. I felt a bit relaxed knowing that he'd keep my secret and for some reason, I felt... safe with him. It's weird that I thought of such an idea but that's all I can come up with to describe my feelings.

The sound of the late bell ringing made us jump and we gave quick goodbyes before running on to our next classes.

I have a newfound understanding and trust for Black Star now.


	2. The Date

School ends a bit fast in my opinion but I don't complain. It is Friday and I have a shit-ton of homework to get done. Way to make our weekend enjoyable teachers. So instead of me and Maka heading out usually, we were both leaving with five more people. We were having a good time chatting happily as we headed home and we finally said goodbye to Liz, Patty, and Kid. Soon, Black Star and Tsubaki had to leave and we parted ways. Once Maka and I arrived at our apartment, Maka went to start cooking supper. It was her turn since I cooked yesterday and I seat myself to get started on homework.

...................

" Black Star, what would you like to eat?" Tsubaki asked from the kitchen. The said boy waved his hand dismissively while watching t.v. instead of doing his homework. Well, he wasn't really watching t.v. since he was stirred in his own thoughts about his first day of school.

" Doesn't matter. Just make something." Tsubaki smiled and nodded before going back in the kitchen. Black Star gave a frustrated sigh. He couldn't seem to get his mind off of Soul. At first, he seemed like the typical cool, laid-back the of guy but the bathroom incident definitely made him reconsider. He thought furiously of what could have made Soul look so broken before him, and it slightly pained him to see that look of fear in those unique, red eyes. Black Star wanted to know why Soul ended up crying in his arms, begging to be let go. Was he scared of being touched?

The assassin wondered about the weapon's childhood before sighing again. Why was he so interested in figuring out Soul anyways? That is supposed to be irrelevant to a God like him, but Soul... He looked like he needed someone. As if he had lived his childhood the wrong way.

What happened?

.......................

The morning sunlight peeked through the window of my room but it didn't bother me. In fact, I was kind of glad that it wasn't so dark anymore. I lay in bed awake but barely as my recurring nightmare happened once again. Beads of sweat rest on my forehead as silent tears trailed down my cheeks. Would I ever get to sleep peacefully again?

I rolled over and read my alarm clock that showed it was probably time to get up. It was the late morning hour, the usual time I get up on the weekend, but that's only because I stay in bed until I know I can walk straight. The nightmares seem to always make me feel weak yet shaken and it slightly annoyed me that this was a daily thing of mine. If only there was a way I didn't have to relive those disturbing dreams...

Black Star...

My face instantly flush and rubbed my head in my pillow. I don't know why I instantly thought of him. Or why my face flushed the instant he came to mind. Maybe because I was still embarrassed about the bathroom incident with him. Hopefully, he doesn't think any less of me after that.

I sit and was about to put on something more appropriate like pants instead of just my long-sleeve shirt but our doorbell rang. I knew it would take a while to find pants in my room's condition so my best bet is too crack the door. I walk out and looked through the peep-hole, seeing nobody but I open it slightly anyways. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Black Star popped into my view and I fell down just as the door was open wide.

" Hey Soul! I was wondering..." His sentence slowly fades as his gaze moves from my face to between my les, in which, I pulled my shirt down and pressed my legs together with a heavy blush.

" My eyes are up here!" His eyes dart back up and his face reddens. He scratches the back of his head while looking away and I stand back up with a scowl. " What are you doing here anyways?" He looks back at me.

" I was wondering if you wanted to... hang out." My eyes widened at his request. I know it's not supposed to sound like him asking me out on a date or anything but I couldn't but feel flattered, however...

" Why are you asking me out?" His face grows even more red and I found that to actually be cute, but my head definitely requires a good bashing against a wall now.

" I'm not. I just thought that... maybe I should get to know you more. A-As friends." He added to make sure I didn't take it the wrong way. I puff a cheek in thought before shrugging and stepping aside. He did promise to keep my secret so the least I can do is repay him for that and comforting me...

" Sure. I'll be ready in a couple minutes." As he walks in, Maka is walking out in her yellow and green striped pajamas and yawning. She waves a tired hello to the both of us while heading to the fridge in the kitchen.

" Hey Soul, Black Star... Black Star!?" She double-takes at the sight of the other meister and glances at me, then him before a sly smile reaches her face. That doesn't mean any good for me." And what is he doing here on such a fine mornign?" She taunted. My cheeks redden at what she meant and I walked to my room.

" We're just... going out somewhere for a bit." But I can tell she totally interpreted that in another way. I shake my had with a mental groan. Besides, there is no way I'd like Black Star like that, he's... he's...

Funny. Handsome. Strong.

I bang my head hard against the wall in my room as my teeth clenched together in embarrassed fustration. What the hell has gotten into me!?

........................

The two of us are walking down the streets of Death City. Even at this time, it is pretty lively around here. That isn't what I'm used to seeing as I enjoy more quiet areas. Besides that, I was pretty nervous about this whole 'hanging out' thing. I've never been asked to go out with someone so I didn't know what to do. I just stayed silent while fiddling with the sleeves of my jacket, though a bit impossible since the sleeves are nearly long enough cover my whole hands. So the tip of my fingers just idled together. I look up while setting my arms to the side and I stop when I see an ice-cream stand. I didn't really eat much, just a peice of toast so I could go for a little cold dessert.

Black Star stops as well and smiles at me.

" I take it you want ice-cream." I wanted to say 'no' so he didn't have to pay for it, but I dragged to the stand anyhow. The man behind the stand gave us a grin while asking what we wanted. Black Star asks for a plain vanilla and I get the same. Turns out, we disn't have to pay since the Employee stated how cute we were as a couple. This statement caused us both to blush and stutter but we set off again.

As we walk to the Public Park, I ate my ice-cream a bit eagerly. It was nice and cold to distract me from the weather, plus it tasted good. What else could I ask for? When I got to biting the cone, I noticed that our hands brushed against each other's every now and then but I ignored the small voice in my head that said to hold his. It's not a date, just two dudes heading to the park, eating ice-cream and... holding hands?

I look down in confusion when I found my hand held by Black Star's and I look up with a questioning look. He doesn't say anything but flashes me a glance and a smirk. My face heats but I couldn't bring myself to pull my hand away. I look back down and swing my arm silently, there is another swing in response and a tiny smile stretches from my lips as it became a pattern. We finally reach a bench and we sat down, doing nothing more than enjoying the cool breeze in the summer air and each other's presence. We talked about a few things, gettingto know ourselves more and more and I found myself feeling lighter and lighter.

It was a while at noon when Black Star stood up and pointed towards a game store.

" I'm going to a get game while we're here. I'll be quick."

I nodded and leaned back against the bench. I trusted he'd be back and looked up at the sky with a content look. I really enjoyed the day so far and I didn't really want it to end yet but I can't be gone too long or Maka will start questioning me on my sexuality.

" Hey there." I look ahead, about to comment on how quick Black Star was but it definitely wasn't him. It was a man who looked no older than the late twenties and there was something off about him. " Are you alone?" I sink slightly into my sit as my hands in my lap fiddled.

" Um... no I'm just waiting for a friend." He gives a wider smile and sits down n the bench with his arm behind my back. I quickly stand up and walk as calmly as I could to the game shop, hoping Black Star would hurry up. I was about to go in when I was pushed backed into wall and voiced my pain at the sudden action.

" Oi, what's the hurry?" He taunts as he leans closer and I could smell the alcohol in his breath. His bony hand is playing with my hair and I shut my eyes, scenes of The Incident playing in my head.

The sound of a force slamming near my head made me jump and the man in front of me step back. I look up with shaky eyes and found Black Star with a hand next to my head, his body standing behind me. He was glaring at the man with so much hatred that I couldn't believe this was the cheery Black Star from before. I scoot closer towards him as the man quickly walks away, trying to play off the fact that he got scared by a fourteen year old. Making sure he was gone, Black Star slid his hand off the dangerously cracking wall behind us.

Don't go...

Before I knew it, I unconsciously threw myself against Black Star's chest, feeling tears about to spill. His hands wrap around me instantly, and almost possessively as I soaked his shirt. I was scared, I felt so scared. I didn't think Black Star would come back, just like Wes and Toya, and I would've been...

I whimper as more tears came and press myself more against Black Star. Frankly at this point, I don't care what he thinks of me. I just needed to be held in his arms, to know that I really was safe, to know that I... I...

Love him?

................................


	3. The Misunderstanding

I don't really know how long I've been crying in his arms but he didn't seem to mind. He just rested his chin on my hair while rubbing small circle on my back. It soothed me and calmed down almost instantly. My legs wersn't really in its' best shape and I leaned on Black Star more for support before I could fall. Knowing that I wasn't in the best condition to continue, he decided that we should head home. I wasn't so keen on him leaving me but I was pretty shocked when he lifted me in hisarms.

" Black Star!?" I exclaim as I felt my face heat once again. He gives me a grin when he adjusted me so I was comfortable and I let my hands clutch onto his shirt as he began to walk. I tried to ignore the stares as he carried me down the sidewalk. " You know I walk on my own. People are staring" I muttered with an embarrassed scowl.

" Judging by the way your legs shook, I beg to differ," I made a small sound," besides, ignore them."

" Easier said than done." I grumble.

" Well you're in luck. We're almost there." My heart drops a little when the apartment came into view. Strangely, I didn't want Black Star to leave so soon but I didn't say anything. He walks up to the door just as a thought hit me.

" Hey, how did you know where I lived?" I asked as I was set down just in front of the door. Black Star looked taken-back at the question but gave a sheepish grin while rubbing the back of his head, a habit of his whenever he gets nervous.

" Oh uh... just God instincts and all-"

" Black Star!" He sighs with a guilty look.

" Alright, alright. I sort of... watched you and Maka go home last night." My eyes narrowed in confusion.

" Why?"

" I just sort of did, and I kind of remembered." I stare with disbelief for a few more minutes before shrugging with a sigh. I didn't press any further and I pulled out my key.

" Thanks for today though," He looks at me," I really had fun, well except for 'that' part." I added with a humorous smile and he returns one.

" No problem. Just call whenever you need me." I blush and punch his arm, yet he wasn't affected even by the slightest.

" Shut up. Damn idiot..." I couldn't help but grin and turned. Only, it seemed that mind didn't think that was enough because before I knew it, I leaned up and pressed my lips against his.

He tensed immediately and once I finally realized what I was doing, I pull back and my eyes widened in shock. He looks back at me with the same expression and only one word came across my mind:

Run! Run! Run!

" Oh god! I'm sorry!" I quickly unlock the door and open it a bit too forcefully.

" W-wait Soul!"

" I'm sorry!" I run in and shut the door behind me, ignoring his calls. My heart races as I slid to the ground, giving ragged breaths shock. Why the hell did I do that!? Why!? Now he's going to hate me forever! I groan and slumped my head into my arms on my raised knees just as Maka came out with a look of concern.

" Soul what's wrong?" I look up with tear-stricken eyes.

" Everything..." I only say before going limp again.

...

I locked my self in my room and I don't know how long I've been in. I didn't check my alarm clock either and I was buried under my blankets and pillows. Maka gave failed attempts to try and get me to come out and I stayed put. Black Star hates me and that's all that ever swam around my head. I eventually fell asleep and woke up to find that it dark outside, probably around ten at night. It didn't matter though, I wasn't hungry anyway.

Damn, I know I've felt depressed before but I really felt like shit. Not because I didn't eat but because of the fact that I'd have to see Black Star again on Monday. I was dreading it because he probably wouldn't be able to look me in the eye. Why the hell did I do that? God, I can be such an idiot sometimes. Oh who am I kidding? I always was.

There is no point loathing myself anymore than I can. I am getting a bit sleepy but I didn't want to have the nightmare again.

Somehow in the end, I ended up having the nightmare.

................

I gasped as my eyes quivered when the two men walked over to me with crazy looks in their eyes.

I wanted to scream and run.

I wanted to push away from those big, rough hands grabbing at me.

I wanted to shout for my brother.

I wanted the pain to end.

................

I manage to come out in the end on Sunday afternoon when Maka announced that she made my favorite food. She had a smug look but had a hint of worry in her eyes. She tried to get me to tell her why I looked so devoid but my only excuse is not enough sleep. She gives up but was still eyeing me suspiciously.

" So, how was your date with Black Star?" She asks straight to the point. My face reddens as if a switched turned on and I looked at anything but her smile in victory.

" I-it was fine. And i-it wasn't a date!" I add blushing furiously. She mutters 'whatever' before leaning closer, her expression slightly serious.

" So why did you run away from him yesterday?" I tense at the question and looked down with a guilty expression. I can't tell her that I kissed him because I was afraid of how she would react. Knowing her, I'd probably end up in the hospital with a dozen Maka Chop bruises in my head. Hell, it's already bad enough that Black Star probably hates me after we became such good friends and I hate to admit that I couldn't imagine myself going on without Maka's nagging or Black Star's hyper self.

" I-I can't... It's just..." She gives a soft smile and picks up our plates.

" It's alright. You can tell me when your ready. I don't want to force you." I look up while mirroring her smile and stand up.

" Thanks." I go to my room and sit on my bed, looking out the window. I didn't lock the door this time but I was sure that she wouldn't to force me out again. I sigh and lay back down, too tired to think anymore. Monday is coming, so is school, and Black Star.

I hate myself so much.

...

Maka forced me to come to school no matter how much I considered skipping. I could tell that she was confused as to why I didn't want to got to school but I didn't say anything else.

We got to our first class just in time as the bell rings(she had a hard time getting out of bed)and she pus me in a seat right next to her's in the higher level chairs. I groan and looked up, meaning to look at the ceiling when I caught Black Star staring at me. I took a double-take but he quickly look away as id nothing happened. It pained me and I groaned again, knowing that I had probably ruined our friendship.

All my damn fault.

This wouldn't have happened if Maka hadn't volunteered us to show them around. Then, I wouldn't have to pity myself on my social life rather than my past. I was fine before I met them right? I'm so confused with myself.

Class ends finally and I'm off to my second period... more like the bathroom. I felt too nauseas for more lectures and I'm sure Maka would understand. I felt so light-headed and my stomach churned so much that I felt like I was going to puke on the floor. I sat in the corner near the door and leaned back, sighing as I tried to think on anything but my symptoms. Like how to approach Black Star again to talk about the misunderstanding. It was an accident, it's not like I wanted to kiss him so suddenly. How is it even possible that I couldn't control myself for a measly three seconds?

The door opens revealing Black Star himself. He walked pass me nonchalantly before freezing and whipping his head over at me.

" Soul?" I stand up shakily while smiling nervously.

I just need to tell him I'm sorry

" H-hey I... I-I..." My head is spinning again and my heart is beating quite fast for a human.

Just say it! Just say it! Just say it!

He's about to say something when I dashed out the bathroom. He called out for me but I'm already entering another. Fuck! What the hell was so hard about it!? 'I'm sorry. It was a misunderstanding.' Sometimes I really want to hurt myself!

I see the janitor closet and I crack the door open, not seeing anyone inside and I step in. It smells like lemons but I'm guessing it's the smell of cheap cleaning prosucts. I still feel better isolated. And I'm running away from Black Star. Why? He seems to want to understand what happened two days ago yet I just don't have the heart to tell him. Maybe it's for the best that I don't see him again so I don't have to hyperventilate all the damn time.

So that's what I did... or tried to do. Everytime I saw Black Star, I just sort of hid or try not to seem so noticable. It's kind of hard since he's almost all my classes, how cliché, but I manage to get Maka to sit near a corner with me. I get through the school day feeling more calmer than I had now that I could try talking to him tomorrow bu I didn't have lunch so I really needed some water at least. It's way too hot for me to go out like that.

I tell Maka and everyone else that I'll catch up, Black Star was missing for some reason but that saved me the trouble and I head to the nearest water fountain. The hall is deserted when I spot it near a classroom and it was weird since this school is always crowdes with kids. When I made it to the water dountain, I was about to have a few sips when a hand slammed right next to my head. I recognized that glove and mentally cursed myself to Hell.

" Why have you been avoiding me, Soul?" Black Star asks with a hint of irritation in his voice. I swallow determinedly and turn around, only to feel myself go small under his intense stare. I look away with guilty and rubbed my arm. I feel so bad yet I can't bring myself to tell him the truth.

" I-I wasn't... I was j-just"

" You're lying." He says while stepping closer and I feel the water fountain press against my back.

" Please Black Star, I can't-" He sighs while rolling his eyes.

" It's because of Saturday isn't it?" I look up while tearing. He knew what the main problem was. I don't know why but tears are sliding down my cheeks and I feel myself alowly breaking down.

" I-I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know wh-what came over me I-" His hand comes off the wall and his gaze isn't stern anymore.

" So it was an accident?" I sigh in relief and nodded as more tears fell. Please let him forgive me...

He gives a look that I couldn't understand and he leaned closer. I instinctively press my hands against his chest but I was too weak compared to him. Was he going to hit me?

" Black Star-"

He pressed his lips against mine and I froze in shock. Why is kissing me? Shouldn't he hate me for doing the same? Why do I like it? He presses more firmly and a hand is holding the back of my head while the other is on my waist. My hands are trapped between our chests as he finally pulls away. We both pant for air and my face is burning. It seemed so fast, for him to kiss me it's just...

He connects our lips together again and I felt my heart beating too fast. I couldn't take this and it seems that my body couldn't take either. However I couldn't pull away from him because his grip was strong. I can't get away.

I'm scared.

I pull my head away while trying to break free. I'm doing my best to breath as calmly as I can while trying to reason with him.

" I-I can't... We sh-shouldn't..." His hand goes lower and I start to freak out. I was starting to be reminded of those two men. I don't want to end up broken again... And I'm crying again. Black Star looks at me in shock but I don't care. I beg for him to let me go, not to touch me like that and it was repetitive until I started to feel light-headed.

And I blanked out.

...


	4. The Confession

I woke up to find myself in my bed. My head hurt and I couldn't seem to remember much about earlier. It's dark outside and raining quite hard. Hopefully hard enough so I don't have to go to school. I hear muffled voices outiside my door and I counted at least three or four people talking. That's strange because I don't remember Maka ever telling me that she was going to invite people but then, I don't remember going home with her. What happened?

This question made my head hurt again and I groan trying to get some sort of idea. Maybe I should back track. School ended and I left with everyone and... I wanted water and went back to go to the water fountain. Black Star came and...

I sigh while rubbing the temple of my head. Sure we resolved what happened on Saturday but I still freaked out over a simple kiss. He liked me and I did admit to myself that I had some sort of feelings for him. But what do I do? I freak out, cry and pass out all on the spot. Yeah, that's definately an impression I wanted to make on him again. It seems as though everything is becoming worse and worse between us.

I sit up on my bed and I had a small urge to come out and see who the other people are but I'm not going to be nosy. Besides, I like it better when I'm not being fussed over by Maka. As if on cue, she bursts into my room and I jump with a squeak that I'd never forgive myself for. She huffs and grabs my arm.

" Oh Soul! You're okay! Come one everyone is worried for you." Before I could protest, she's already pulling me out my room and into the living room. My heart stopped for a second when it pratically everyone is there. Black Star, Tsubaki, Kid, Liz, and Patty. That's not what I counted before. Is it just me or does it seem more... crowded? Maka pulls me towards the group and I am bombared with questions on why I passed out or do I feel better.

" Talking at once isn't helping." I said through gritted teeth and they all shut up instantly. Tsubaki is the first to break the silence.

" I was wondering, why did you pass out?" I bite the inside of my cheek as I tried to think of an answer. I know I shouldn't lie to her but now everyone is waiting for me to something, I even feel Black Star's stare daring me to mention us.

" I-I didn't eat today." Maka sighed dramatically while walking into the kitchen.

" What have I told you about starving yourself? It isn't healthy. I'll get you something to eat."

" I'm not really hungry." But she's already looking in the refridgerator. I appreciate her trying to help me and all but sometimes I wish she'd understand me. Though, it's kind of my fault since I haven't told her about The Incident and it's still going to be a while before I'm ready to. I thought everyone would leave after making sure I was okay but it seemed as if it would be a while before they leave the apartment. Maka kept forcing food down my throat, I got worried looks every now and then and I was flattered that they care but I seriously wanted to stay in bed, in my room. Alone.

" Guys, I think I should go back to bed."

" Aw already?" Liz whined and Patty held onto my arm.

" But I wanna play some more!" I sweat at her childishness and pulled away to go to my room. I didn't really think we were playing at all earlier.

" Sorry but uh... My head hurts. Goodnight." Everyone chants goodnight and my shoulders sag in relief once I'm back in my room. I was a little sad that I didn't get the chance to talk to Black Star yet again but I made a metal not to do so tomorrow. I want him to understand about everything, about why I act the way I do. The Incident... No. I can't tell him that. At least not yet. Just the thought of mentioning it to him makes me want to throw up.

Jeez, how can I let him know how I feel as well?

.....................

" Soul, I've noticed that since Saturday, you and Black Star haven't interacted." There it is again. Isn't there one second that she wouldn't be in my business all the damn time!? It's always during class she has to annoy me.

" Nothing's wrong if that's what you're thinking."

" I'm asking."

" Ditto." Maka huffed at me while resting her head on a propped arm as if I'm the annoying one.

" I'm beggining to worry about you."

" You wouldn't have to if you hadn't had your stupid idea of getting me friends."

" I was trying to help!" Maka angrily whispered. I roll my eyes with a scowl.

" And look where that's gotten me."

" That's because you wanted a boyfriend instead of a friend." Maka smugly said and I bare my teeth at that knowing look.

" Black Star is not my boyfriend for the last time!"

" Soul! Maka!" Oh shit, I forgot we were still in class.

Practically everyone is staring at the both of us with perplexed lookes and the teacher is glaring at us from being interrupted from her lecture. And even worse, I bet Black Star is watching as well.

" If you two think having a conversation on your social lives is more important, then I suggest you get out!" But it wasn't a suggestion, more like a command. We both flush heavily and gather our things before heading out as quickly as possible. Once we were out and the door was closed though, Maka grabbed and twisted my ear quite painfully.

" You idiot! You got us kicked out!"

" O-ow! You're the one who provoked me!" Maka scoffed and let go.

" How is telling the truth provoking?" I narrow my eyes.

" What do you mean the truth? I just told you-"

" Stop it already!" Maka exclaimed while grabbing both of my shoulders. I was about to pull away but she kept a firm grip. " *sigh* Why do you keep denying it? I've seen the way you look at him."

" Y-You're seeing things-"

" No Soul, I'm not." She pressed while shaking me slightly. " Why are you so afraid of admitting it? Rejection?" I pull back and look at the ground.

" It's not that-"

" Then what is it?"

" ...I can't really say..." Maka stares at me, and I knew she wanted to me to explain but that would lead to me to telling her about The Incident. And I don't need to keep reminding myself that I'm not ready to teller her that. So I stay quiet.

Maka stands in front of me with her hands on her hips for a while before gasping and smiling, in which I look up curiously.

" Wh-what?"

" You admitted it!" I was about to ask what she meant when I finally caught on and groaned. Of all people it had to be her that I slipped up to. At this, she grins even more and pulls me, surprisingly, in a hug. " Finally! You show some emotion for someone! Not only that, there's a very good chance he'd like you back!"

' Oh he definitely likes me alright.' I thought to myself, remembering yesterday. There's only one problem: I fainted on him.

Maka pulls away with the happiest expression possibly on earth. Why is it such a big deal to her? Did she really think that I was that hopeless? I can't really blame her though. The bell conveniently rings and she is litteraly dragging me to our next class.

Hope springs internally in the end I guess.

.........................

So I am standing in the boy's bathroom awkwardly while it's a free period. I had asked Black Star to meet me here so we could secretly discuss about... everything. I wanted to let him understand why I act this way or weird around him or males in general. I also wanted to know if we were... a couple. I side of me is hoping to be yet the other is still questioning my readiness for commitment to another person. Meaning, can I really trust him, and does he really love me?

The door opens and I jump, but it turns out to be an african-american meisted I see in my classes. He blinks in surprise at me but instead, gives a warm smile.

" Hi there! You must be Soul right?" I hesitantly nod and he walks up with a hand out. I look down at it before putting my hand in his and voice my surprise when he shakes it vigorously. " My name's Kilik. Black Star's friend." I nodded and pull my numb arm away, still wondering why he's introducing hisself to me.

" H-hi Kilik? You wouldn't know by any chance that he's coming?"

" Yeah he is. He's just finishing up today's assignment. That dumbass. Why here though?" I puff a cheek while staring off into space.

" Um... no reason. I-It's just more quiet..." I respond.

" Not when someone's taking a dump." He said with a sly look and I couldn't help but laugh with him at the stupid statement. Somehow, we ended up making small conversation and I got to learn more about Black Star's friend. He's really humorous and light-hearted in my point of view and I feel a lot relaxed with him, the way I feel with Black Star's presence. And speaking of his presence, Kilik noted that he was coming and didn't want to make it seem like were having a good time, in which I raise an eyebrow to.

" Why's that?" He chuckles while picking up his bag. I must've distracted him from his real intention for the bathroom.

" He's the type to easily get jealous. Trust me, he mistakes everything for anything."

" Shut up asshole. I do not." Kilik turns around with a mocking look while heading past Black Star.

" Try not to have too much fun here. Twenty minutes isn't as long as it seems."

" Fuck off already." I was confused by what he meant but it seemed that Black Star knew what he was talking about. Kilik is now gone and I take a deep breath, readying myself to pour out my thoughts and feelings about us.

" First, I want to apologize about yesterday. I really didn't mean for that to happen." He quiet and doesn't look at me but I take that as a sign to continue," I-I'm just not used to those kind of things," He still doesn't look at me and I bite my bottom lip.

" Something happened to me when I was a kid a-and...," A lump starts to form in my throat and Black Star is finally eyeing me," I-I just... I-it r-really... hurt m-me and... and...," Oh god, it's playing out again in my head. " I-I was o-only ten a-at the time a-and-" I'm suddenly enveloped by warm arms and I pathetically as usual, cry in his chest. My head, throat and heart hurts like hell, everything hurts in fact. I knew I wasn't ready to tell but I did anyways. Now, I do feel a bit relieved since he knows that my past should clarify why I act this way, distant and distrustful towards others.

But how does he feel about me now knowing that I was abused?

I'm finally reduced to annoying hiccups and resting my head comfortably on Black Star's chest. I wonder how many minutes I wasted already. However, he doesn't seem to mind and in fact, held me tighter. I guess he felt bad for me that I went through such a terrible experience at a young age. I feel bad for myself, always trying to forget that memory but it always comes to haunt me in my nightmares. I just wish with there was a way to not feel so terrified and weary of everything and everyone.

" Soul..." I blink out of my thoughts and hiccup in response, look ing up the best way I could since he wouldn't pull away.

" Y-yes?" My voice cracked.

" Do you like me?" My face heats instantly and I unconsciously claw his shirt lightly. That was an easy yet embarrassing question he asked. But, he does deserve an honest answer.

" I d-do." He slowly lets go of me and I wonder if he thinks that I'm lying but I notice a smile on his face, in which I couldn't help but return one. " Why?"

He shakes his head and gently takes both my hands leaning down closer but stops.

" Okay then. Do you love me?" My heart races as I feel the temperature rise. I'm not pondering much on this because, just as Maka said, I need to stop denying my feelings. What more is there to ask from him? I trust him, I feel safe with him, plus he's funny, a bit air-headed in a funny way, and he makes me feel content. Maybe I could, just this once, learn to trust again.

" I do. I do love you." I respond, my smile turning into a grin, reflecting his own. Then cautiously, he presses his lips against mine and I react this time. Our fingers lace together as I lean up closer against him, our affection for each other pouring into the kiss. My head isn't spinning but feels a bit light, in a good way weird enough, and a small moan escapes my throat, much to my embarrassment.

I feel the wall suddenly come into contact with my back but I push that to the back of my mind. I just want don't want this moment to end-

" Damn. I come back for my pencil and I find two guys making out against a wall?" I voice my surprise but Black Star took his time pulling away, lingering our lips together for a second before pulling his head back with an annoyed look. I, meanwhile, hide my red face from view. It turned out to be Kilik picking up his pencil from the ground. He began to walk back out before stopping at the doorway.

" Make sure to make lots of babies for your god-father!"

" H-How is that even possible-?" I tremulously say but Black Star steps away while cracking his knuckles with a livid expression.

" Wait here for a second."

I couldn't help but laugh as Kilik ran from being beaten up. All the stress left my, making me feel light again. I had just gotten my unexpected happy ending, while also gaining a very close person to me. I feel like... like I'm free again.

Is this truly a happy ending for me?

...


	5. The Reunion

I'm starting to suspect it was Kilik who somehow got the whole school to know about me and Black Star. Why else would random people I don't even know congratulate me and him? But since everyone know, this means Maka as well. And I was dreading her reaction but it came after-school anyways.

" Oh my God! It's about time!" I wince at her yell as we and our friends walked down the school steps. Liz would not stop smirking and Patty was suggesting ideas for 'that' which I'm not even going to mention. Kid is complementing on how we paid attention to symmetry, two boys being together, and I ignore that as well. I secretly slip my hand into Black Star's as we continued to walk. " You always kept telling me how hot he was-"

" That's a complete lie!" I exclaim, wishing she'd just shut up, but she goes on.

"-And you would go on about the dream dates you had in mind-" I groan and tune her out as well. I hear Black Star chuckle and I smile a little. Still, I feel grateful that everyone accepts this.

" So, when are you guys going all the way?" Liz wonders aloud and everyone is eyeing us expecting an answer. We both knew what she meant and I look at the tired sun. That is a good question. I've only thought about us going lightly but getting in bed with him...

" When he's ready." Black Star says, glancing at me with a sincere look. I told him about what happened when I was ten and he was the only one that knew. I exhale in relief knowing that I wouldn't be rushed in our newfound relationship. Liz offered to let me prepare myself with some 'toys' but I instantly reject that idea, not wanting to get an image of me using them into everyone's head. Though it seemed that Black Star already had a pretty fond idea, seeing as a blood was trickling down his red face from his nose. I huff and yank his arm, getting him out of his perverted thoughts.

We had finally reached the point in which Kid, Liz and Patty had to leave. Then Tsubaki and Black Star. I was about to wave goodbye but Black Star connected our lips right in front of them. My face heats as I could practically feel both Maka and strangely Tsubaki's smug expressions on us. We finally pull away for air and Black Star casually went to his partner's side. We all say goodbye and part ways.

" ... You guys should kiss around us more often."

" Shut up." I muttered but my red face said otherwise. We head home and it was my turn to cook but Maka insisted on doing it this time.

" You deserve a break. After all, you're the one who finally found someone." She said while shoving me onto the couch. " It must be a big deal to you."

" More you than me actually." She shrugs with a smile.

" I can't help it. It's just so... life-changing." I ponder on that as she left to cook dinner.

Life-changing huh?

..........................

It's been a month since me and Black Star went steady. We decided on only light kissing and hand holding. If things got too far out of hand, I would lightly push away and voice it. So far, everything went... well.

However there were some times that didn't turn out so well. I had managed to gain a long scar across my torso from a mission against some boy/girl who had a weapon inside their body. I was put in the infirmary for about a good two weeks after protecting Maka from receiving a deadly blow. Only now, I started developing weird dreams about some little demon in my head talking about madness or me coming out of Maka's stomach. I just hope nothing bad is happening to me. Our first mission ended up getting us a magical cat under Me and Maka's roof. Her name is Blaire and so far, all she does is eat fish, rub her boobs all over me, then proceed to take a nine-hour nap. She did reduce her harassing when Black Star caught her in the act one night during a party for managing to catch Tsubaki's first soul.

So far, the whole school is worrying about a witch named Medusa, and the boy/girl Crona. Somewhow, Maka wants to forgive Crona for slashing a sword across my torso and his attempt on her so he's all of a sudden a friend to us. It's wierd that a person that nearly murdered us is a pal but I had a feeling that Crona didn't mean for it to happen. More like being told to do so instead. Overall, life for me and my friends haven't been so good but we're still alive luckily. I just want all this mess to end so I can focus more on myself than the world needing saving.

Since we've been feeling as if we were walking on eggshells the whole past month, Maka invited everyone to go to the park. I thought it was a good idea as well since being locked up in the infirmary every school day nearly drives me nuts. However, no matter how peaceful or safe an activity involving public is, there always has to be catch for everything.

We chose a big, grassy hill right where you can see the creepy sun laughing away as usual. Tsubaki ended up bring all sorts of food and a mat, so it turned into a picnic. Our version at least which involved a small food fight, beatings, and a Patty cackling in victory. I only sat away far enough so it wouldn't even look like I was involved, though I was enjoying my time enough watching them. Even Maka was covered in food with blood on her book. In the end, I ended up volunteering to grab some napkins from a nearby concession stand.

I found the same ice-cream stand from the first time Black Star and I had hung out and I went over there, hoping the nice employee would still be there. Though when I walked closer, I saw a raven-haired male who looked in his early twenties. For some reason, my heart tugged at the sight and fluttered. I just shook off the feeling and walked up, having a harder time controlling my heart pace when he looked down at me.

" Hi there. What would you like?" I don't know why but I stare at him, completely frozen. He reminds me of someone but I just don't know who... " U-Um... Are you alright there?" I faintly hear him voicing his concern and I snap out of my staring, shaking my head.

" I-I'm fine... Do you have any napkins?" He turns and grabs a couple, handing it toe in which, I puff out a cheek while glancing to see if anyone was watching.

" Could you... grab a couple more? My friends got in a food fight and..." He 'oh'ed and grabbed a whole box, smirking.

" Is this enough?" I give a crooked smile but I grab it.

" More than enough." When I had took it from him, our fingers accidentally touch and suddenly a buzzing sound comes into mind. I narrow my eyes as I looked down when a name came into mind. I didn't want to believe it, but I had a better look at him, my eyes burned for a bit. Why do they is my question and it seems that the employee is taking a good look at me as well. It was a while when his eyes widen and I gave a small gape.

" ... Soul?"

" T-Toya?"

We are silent before he quickly leaves the stand, and I wondered if he decided to run away when he came around and kneeled before hugging me tight. It is him. All these years and I thought he was dead but here he is hugging me. I unknowingly lean against him and we both soak each other's shirts. Our situation seemed a bit funny since people must be staring at us weirdly. It's a while when I finally realized my real intention but my mind was screaming for answers.

Why now do we meet again? What happened to him over the years? Why are we having an emotional fit in front of everyone?

" Oh God Soul. I missed you..." My grip tightens on his shirt. I would say the same for him if my throat didn't feel so closed. I only sigh and he pulls back. " Where have you been?"

" ...I'd like to know as well." I say while rubbing my eyes. He gives a sad smile.

" I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I know I said I'd come back but a lot happened." I nodded, still wanting to know the full detail. If he's alive then Wes..?

" My brother..." He blinks before looking down with a grave look, in which my heart stopped. No way. He couldn't have...

" He's serving life-time in jail." My eyes widen as I mentally thanked the Heavens for keeping my brother alive but cursing when I realized I'd probably never see him again anyways." The day those men came into your house, he was already heading home and he saw when they got in. I was shot and knocked out on the ground so that's all I could remember. Him coming in and grabbing the gun. I'm just glad your brother came in time to save you."

He saved me? I was raped, left to bleed to death on the ground for hours, and the police comes into to say I needed to go the hospital fast. No contact with the outside world for months, no family to hear from and he's glad I'm 'okay'? Still...

" Why didn't you bail him out?" I ask tremulously. Toya huffed and gave a guilty look.

" I tried, me and the whole family but we couldn't afford the bill. It'd be like selling our house and clearing our bank account. We tried, we really did." I purse my lips together, thinking of something else.

" Do you know where he is? Possibly still in California?" He nods and I breathe in relief for that much. Since my parents passed away and their fortune was passed on to me and Wes, maybe I could do something about his being there. I am the only closest relative he has but only one problem remains. I'm still a teenager and all the important documents and information are back home.

Home...

It seemed like Toya knew what I was thinking because he shook his head.

" Don't even think about it Soul."

" But it could work."

" You're too young to go off on your own."

" Then you come with me." Toya is quiet but he doesn't agree or disagree with the idea. I really need to go back and get those documents if I wanted to see my brother again.

" For now, I want you to think about it. You really need to take things slowly because anything could happen." I sigh in frustration but take his words in advance. Maybe I did need to think it over. I just want to see Wes again. I have never felt to relieved to find the people closest to me still alive but I'm told that Wes is in jail for trying to protect me. If anything, it's my fault.

" Soul, what's taking so long to get some napkins?" I turn quickly and see Maka and Black Star walking up. " Oh you got the napkins." Maka walked up and took the box from the ground, which was abandoned since my hands were in Toya's. Oh shit.

" Are these your friends?" Toya asked with a small smile towards the both of them. Maka returned one with a wave but Black Star didn't even so much as to twitch. He's just staring at him and I feel bad in my current position. I guess it is no joke what Kilik said. I nod and he stands up.

" Hi, the name's Toya. I'm a pretty close friend of Soul." Maka shoots a suggestive look at me, in which I turn to hide my blush.

" My name is Maka, an this is Black Star, Soul's boyfriend~." I scowl at her and Toya shoots me a surprised look and I really felt the need to bury myself in a very deep hole.

" A boyfriend? Looks like I haven't grown on you much huh?"

" Wh-what!?" He laughs with Maka but I gape and try to make sounds while Black Star doesn't look anywhere amused. I really need to get us out of here but for some reason, I didn't want to leave Toya but...

" Excuse me, is this ice cream stand open?" Toya curses but manages to pull out a scrap of paper and a pen to scribble something before handing it to me. I look at it as he began to walk back to the stand.

" It's my number. We can talk more later!" I ignore Maka's questioning hum but the hood of my jacket was suddenly grabbed by Black Star and I was dragged back to the hill. Though I still couldn't get my eyes off the numbers on the paper. I'm still processing the fact that I now have two important people back in my lives, even better, I have Toya's number so we could stay in contact. For discussing important matters of course.

" Say Soul, Toya seemed like a pretty nice guy. How come I haven't heard of him?" I blink out of my day-dreaming, still being dragged, and I roll my eyes.

" It's nothing important. H-He's just a friend."

" Then why did I catch him eyeing you ass?"

" What!?" Both Black Star and I exclaim. She laughs at us and began to jog to the rest of the group. She doesn't respond but I just hope that it's all a joke. Other wise, I'm going to have to give second thoughts on my social life, which wasn't very social to begin with. I feel Black Star's grip on my hood tighten and I could tell this walk in the park isn't so peaceful anymore. I could only pray for Toya's life from Black Star now.

Damn Maka.


End file.
